How to Talk Sexual History With a Husband

Talking about your sexual history with your husband can be not only difficult but stir feelings of jealousy and judgment. This can cause walls to be built between you. It is vital to be perfectly honest about your past especially when it comes to your sexual history for medical and emotional reasons. Use these steps to learn how to approach and have a positive conversation about your sexual history with your husband.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Pick the right time, but in the same sense don't wait forever to have the conversation because the time never feels right. Pick a time when you are alone, calm and happy. Minimize the stress and activity in your house at the time of the conversation.
2. Disclose any sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) or indications of STD's. This should be done before any sexual contact with a new partner. It is important not only to allow them to protect themselves, but also to build trust in your relationship by being honest.
3. Be selective in the details. Never share who was the "biggest" or "best." Things like that will likely stick between the two of you and in his mind for a long time, making it harder for him to get close to the "now" you and not focus on the "then" you.
4. Offer plenty of assurance and confidence. Let him know how attracted to him you are. If you were once a party girl and have outgrown that to settle down with the right guy, tell him that and remind him that he is the right guy. He will appreciate that we all make bad decisions.
5. Be reasonable. When he shares his sexual history with you, react in a loving and supportive way, just as you wanted him to do for you. It will be hard; jealousy tends to pop up at moments like this.

Tips & Warnings

• Act positively and not secretively about having the conversation. Avoid saying "we need to talk" as he may think something bad is about to be said.
• Don't approach this subject if your relationship is already strained. You need to build it up to handle this kind of conversation first.