How to Become Independent

Independence means different things to different people. Moving out, moving on, ending a relationship, changing a relationship, gaining autonomy at work or getting rid of your roommate. Whatever the reason for your freedom, put your fears aside and follow these steps to break the chains and become independent.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Plan your day around you, not anyone else. People who are most dependent on others allow their worlds to revolve around the needs of other people or other things. Plan your day according to your own schedule--make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do and what you should have already done.
2. Secure your finances. True independent living relies on financial freedom. Pay your own bills, drive your own car, sign a personal check for your rent. If you don't have the money for these expenses, save aggressively. Not only will you gain financial freedom with your savings, but the money you keep to yourself will give you an incredible feeling of independence and motivation.
3. Avoid letting others do things for you that you can do for yourself. At the same time, don't do everyone else's work. This can be applied to any situation. If your mother still makes your lunch, start spreading the peanut butter and jelly yourself. If your coworker is picking up your slack at the office, work more efficiently. If you're in a relationship and you are the one doing all the chores or having them all done for you, start dividing tasks equally.
4. Leave your friends and family at home. This is a difficult step on the journey to independent living, but you must start doing things on your own. You do not need two girlfriends to escort you to the bathroom at a bar. You do not need to drive with someone to the restaurant, because you can meet them there. Go shopping alone, spend at least one or two evenings a week by yourself. Work on activities that force you to lead, not follow.
5. Think critically. The hardest step to becoming a truly independent person is to become a critical thinker. This does not mean you criticize everything. Critical thinking means you are taking the time to think about things analytically. Ask questions--why, when, who, what and how. Don't give up so easily. Don't agree with someone just to make them happy. Engage in lively debates with people. You will find that thinking for yourself is the best thing you can do to create an independent lifestyle.

Tips & Warnings

• Try going to a restaurant and eating alone. This is a great "practice step" in independent living. If you are self-conscious about this, bring a book or newspaper and read while you eat.
• Living alone is a positive step toward independence. Circumstances may prevent you from doing this, but if you are able, it is highly recommended.