How to Reform a Teen Bully
When parents find out their teen is being bullied, their emotions fluctuate between anger and sadness. When parents find out their teen is doing the bullying, they find themselves not only angry and sad, but embarrassed too. But don't throw in the towel just yet. There are ways to reform a teen bully, and your child will thank you for it in the long run.
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Instructions
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Emphasize the seriousness of the situation. This means that you take your teen's bullying seriously first, not brushing it off with a "she's just a kid" mentality. You need to sit down with your teen and make sure she understands the gravity of the situation and that bullying behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Follow up with consequences and discipline, and be consistent and firm.
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Seek out a partnership with the school's administrators. Reach out to the teachers, principals and superintendent to let them all know that you're aware of what's going on and that you're handling it at home. A consistent plan of action both at home and at school will reinforce acceptable behavior.
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Teach your teen about empathy. The fact that your teen is bullying others should tell you that he lacks empathy. It's crucial for your child's development and success in the future to learn to respect others and to have a sense of how his actions make others feel. Pose the question of how he would feel if someone were to bully him.
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Know what your teen is doing and with whom. This will better enable to you guide her in making the right choices when she chooses a peer group. If you don't feel that she's hanging out with good role models, don't hesitate to put a stop to her socializing with bad influences.
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Get him involved in outside activities. Very often, a bully doesn't have much else going on in his life outside of the hours he spends in school or at home. Encourage him to try a sport, hobby or community service. The more he fills his spare time with enriching activities, the less he has to focus on others. He'll also make new friends and have a sense of accomplishment.
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Make yourself her first great role model. If your behavior has been less than stellar, then take the steps to change it. A bully usually learns her behavior at home, and if you've been showing your anger in response to disappointing situations, then she'll eventually emulate you. Show your teen how to positively respond instead.
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Offer up praise. When you spot reform in your teen, give him the good words. This will reinforce his efforts to change his negative behavior and encourage him to continue acting positively toward his peers.
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Tips & Warnings
Try to find mentors for your bullying teen. While you're the first person she looks to for cues, having other people around her to provide positive role models can only help.
Develop a dialogue with your teen. Rather than only laying down the punishment, try to get him to open up about why he's bullying.
Know when to get outside help. If your partnership with the school isn't working, it's time to take your teen to a professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor.
