How to Get Excommunicated

If you've decided that it's time to lose your religion, and you happen to be a Roman Catholic, you're going to find the task more difficult than you might think. To get out of the Catholic Church, you need to be excommunicated. Though the church threatens excommunication regularly, few people are ever excommunicated even if they've more than met the "requirements." If you'd like to get excommunicated, here's how.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Write a long letter to your parish detailing your denouncement of faith. Other than physically attacking the pope, desecrating a consecrated host, or getting an abortion, none of which is recommended, writing angry letters denouncing all faiths will eventually get you excommunicated from the church if you're pushy enough.
2. Find another mainstream, well-recognized religion to join. Conversion is a decent way to get excommunicated, though you'll still have to push the church to kick you out. This is called apostasy, which is one of the canonically official ways to get excommunicated.
3. Pull the heretic card. This one is difficult, unless you plan on renouncing certain canons of the church and generating pamphlets and a reasonable following. For example, you could decide that the bible proves that Jesus was green and from Pluto and then you could get excommunicated as a heretic.
4. Create a schism. Take heresy to the next level and form a splinter sect of Catholicism that worships the green Plutonian Jesus and denounces transubstantiation and then write a letter to your parish inviting them to join the new church. This will most definitely get you formally excommunicated, although you may still have to formally request excommunication from the church to get the ball rolling.