How to Explain Cremation to a Child

Understanding cremation can be confusing for a child. However, it may be a more peaceful way for them to say goodbye than a burial is. Some children may panic at the thought of burying their loved one, while cremation offers you the chance to take the loved one somewhere they loved and let them "fly." Use these steps to help explain cremation to a child.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Sit down somewhere relaxing and quiet to talk to the child. This should be done after the initial shock of the death has worn off, but before the cremation and funeral take place.

2. Empathize with her. Tell her you understand how sad she is. Tell him you are sad too and that it's okay to be sad or angry at losing someone he loves. Also reassure her that she need not be scared for the person.

3. Explain the differences traditional burial and cremation. Help her understand that some people choose to bury dead bodies in a casket while others choose cremation. You could also explain that cremation is often selected because it is more environmentally-friendly. Kids can understand this as they learn about saving the environment in school.

4. Let the child help you come up with a list of the deceased's favorite places and let him be an active role in spreading the ashes. You can also consider, if the child understands what it means, to let her keep a small amount of the ashes in a locket or keepsake. This may be an especially good idea if the deceased is a parent or very close loved one. Tell them that they will always be with them that way.

Tips & Warnings

• Adjust the conversation to the age of the child. Be careful not to give too much information to a younger child as it may give them nightmares or increase their level of anxiety.
• Never use the word "burn", "burned" or "burning" when explaining cremation to a child. Say that it was a very hot room and that it did not hurt the loved one for the body to go through this process.