How to Theft-Proof a Lawn Gnome

No garden is complete without a garden gnome. Unfortunately, there are many thieves who live to uproot gnomes from their safe resting places. If you want to keep your gnome safe, you have to theft-proof your lawn and your gnome. With a little bit of creativity and a trip to your local home improvement store, you can rest easier knowing that your gnome isn't going anywhere.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Make your garden gnome hard to steal. The bigger the gnome, the harder it is to carry off of your property and flee the scene. Choose a garden gnome that's large in girth and that weighs as much as possible. If you're really dedicated, have the inside of your gnome hollowed out and replaced with a heavy metal such as lead. This will make it almost impossible for thieves to flee with your woodland creature.

2. Protect the perimeter. Electric fencing is a great way to prevent the theft of your garden gnome. Plants like nettles and cactus can provide a natural theft-deterrent system. Most small-time crooks would abandon the mission with a face full of cactus needles.

3. Give your gnome a means to protect itself. Obviously, it can't pack a gun, but you can still give it a means to defend itself. Some electric fencing wrapped around the trunk of the garden gnome will give thieves a nice little surprise when they try to gnome-nap it. You can also rig a sling shot to go off if a trip wire is triggered.

4. Get a dog. Dogs are great for protecting your garden gnome and alerting you of possible trouble brewing on the horizon. Pit bulls are scary, and one that's chomping at the bit to take a bite out of someone's rear end is bound to make a thief think twice about lifting lawn ornaments. Consider tying chew toys or bones around your garden gnome's neck, to make the dog extra territorial.

Tips & Warnings

• Garden gnome theft is a serious crime, and it's up to owners like you to protect these defenseless woodland creatures from a life of wooden shoe making at the hands of tyrants.

Resources

• Find a garden gnome here.
• Learn how the other side thinks at Free the Gnomes.

[anadler]

on 12/3/2008 These are fun tips for protecting gnomes. So, now that we all know how to protect them, if you need any help trying to figure out what kind of gnome is right for you, here's a good article:

http://www.gnomefrenzy.com/how-to-pick-a-garden-gnome.html