How to Give a Purple Nurple

Bullies throughout the ages have given many a painful purple nurple. It's a prank that leaves the attacked powerless until the bully decides to let go, leaving you with a shade of humiliation and of course, a purple nipple, due to the black and blue bruise that begins to form.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

1. Lay low or buddy up. The trick to a purple nurple is using the element of surprise. So either have your buddies distract the unfortunate recipient, or throw your arm around them and act as if you are "buddy-buddy."

2. Grab their nipple hard. This is when the true bully within you appears. Grab the other person's nipple hard with the index, middle finger and thumb of your dominant hand.

3. Squeeze and twist their nipple. This will immediately cause an acute pain in the recipient causing them to cringe and cower. Watch out for a swift knee to the groin, which is one of the few ways they can ward off your attack.

4. Hold the nipple firmly for as long as possible. The longer you hold, the deeper the bruise, hence the more "purple" it becomes.

5. Let go and expect retaliation. If you can dish it, you'd better take. Chances are you've got a "purple nurple" coming your way in the near future.

Tips & Warnings

• Giving a purple nurple can be considered assault. Consider the consequences before giving a purple nurple. Stick to friends who won't mind the good natured ribbing and expect retaliation.

• Beware that giving a purple nurple to a female can be considered sexual assault due to the private nature of the female breast.