How to Annoy Communists

Communists believe that industries that are the means of production, farms, factories, manufacturing plants and goods are best run by the state and held in common by the people. Their nemesis, capitalists, believe in the private ownership of these industries, having government stay out of business and letting owners act in their own self-interest. You can easily annoy communists while making life better for yourself.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Money

1. Get a good job that pays well. This is even more effective if you come from a poor family or disadvantaged household. Showing them that working hard will get you far is at the very basis of how to annoy communists. Or even better, start your own business.
2. Buy stuff. The more ostentatious, the better. Mansions, pools and fancy cars are great if you have the means. If not, try luxury consumer goods and services like personal computers, MP3 players, kitchen gadgets, landscaping, cleaning service and vacations.
3. Donate to charity. The principals of communism state that the common good needs to be managed by the government, because capitalists are too busy acting in their own self-interest to care about their fellow citizens. Prove them wrong by sharing your wealth freely.
4. Get published. Write something controversial, particularly about the current government. A letter to the editor of your local newspaper or your personal website are good options.
5. Support democratic and/or capitalistic nations who put the people in control of their own destinies.
6. Stay informed. As Sir Frances Bacon said, knowledge is power. You can always use the facts of history in your arguments to annoy communists. Again and again, communism has failed throughout history.

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure you use facts from reputable sources in your arguments.
• Don't spend more than you have. You don't want to rack up credit card debt in your effort to annoy communists.