How to Correct Bad Manners Among Friends

Correcting friends at the dinner table or letting them know you would appreciate a thank you card can be a mite touchy. You don't want to come off like a parent and you don't want to alienate those with whom you hang. Try these approaches.

Instructions

1. Use a child as a shield from a direct confrontation. When the offending friend is over, tell a nearby child (preferably your own) that she shouldn't chew with her mouth open. Your friend may hear and apply it.

2. Pull your friend aside and tell him or her that you only want to help. Then tell explain the faux pas your friend just made. "I know you'd want to know," is a line that is often accepted gracefully.

3. Quote Miss Manners' suggestions, even if you just make them up. Try something like: "The other day I read a letter to Miss Manners asking about men coming to the table shirtless and she said it was really bad manners. I never knew that."

4. Put yourself on the spot. Tell your friend how someone corrected a major gaff on your part and that even though you were embarrassed, you were glad to learn the accepted procedure.

5. Leave a book or article about the offending behavior out on a table where your friend might read it. Your friend may get the hint without anyone speaking about the situation.

6. Send mass emails with funny or important manners tips. Include everyone so that the one who actually needs doesn't feel singled out. Sterlingmanners.com provides many links to humorous manners tips.