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Step 1
Plan ahead for the holidays and the schedule you intend to follow. Talk with your spouse in advance about what both of your expectations are. Plan for emergencies and for unexpected situations. If staying at your in-laws' home gets too stressful, have a plan for leaving early. Agree on all plans before taking any action.
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Step 2
Agree on gift-giving policies ahead of time with both your spouse and inlaws. Let them know if you are buying gifts or not and what price range is acceptable. Don't demand high prices, but let them know they don't need to spend over a certain amount on your family.
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Step 3
Spend alone time with your spouse, even if it means skipping a dinner with the family. This can be a time to remove yourself from the stresses of family and talk quietly with your spouse. Get out of the house for a few hours by yourselves or with just your children.
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Step 4
Avoid touchy subjects with the in-laws. Talking about religion, politics or other family members can lead to trouble. Stick to subjects that are normally safe like food, children, movies and happenings in town.
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Step 5
Be polite to your inlaws and their extended family and friends. They may not say anything to you directly, but they may talk about it later if you are rude or impolite to anyone they know.
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Step 6
Tolerate nosy in-laws by answering only the questions you feel comfortable talking about. Avoiding dangerous topics can help, but plan ahead with your spouse so they can take over if you start feeling uncomfortable.
Comments
IsabelleKay said
on 12/2/2007 Having an escape plan, as you mentioned in Step One, is just critical. Since my husband and I have instituted this, we feel so much less pressure. Best of all, we have never even had to run off (yet!).