How to Look Like David Beckham

David Beckham, David Beckham, David Beckham. That's all anyone can talk about these days--especially the ladies. And guys are taking note that girls love this stylish Soccer phenom. So what's a horny guy to do if he wants to get laid? That's a no-brainer: Look exactly like David Beckham (or at least as close as you possibly can). Not sure how to get started? Don't worry about it, I'm going to tell you exactly how to get David's incredibly sexy metrosexual look.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Lots of money for clothes
• Lots of money for a hair stylist
• Cubic zirconia jewelry
• Man purse
• Man sandals
• A Spice Girl

1. 
   I'm telling you, half of Beckham's power is in his hair.

   Let's start with the hair. When it comes to hair, Beckham is erratic: I've seen him in Bo Derek cornrows, a mohawk, a faux-hawk and a shag. For the longest time, he's been going short and bleached and lucky for you, that's affordable. All you have to do is get a pair of clippers and buzz everything off, save for a little bit of growth on the forehead area (just enough to make it stick up a bit). Then bleach everything. And there you have it, the Beckham hair cut.

2. 
   Look at this guy--he's using a man purse and he still gets more tail than Sinatra.

   Let's get it out there: the man purse. You're going to have to carry one around. Sure, it's unheard of, but look at Becks--he totes his all over West Hollywood and he's probably knee deep in vagina as you read this. The good news is, his man purses are on the slightly masculine side: canvas, Army green, distressed leather, khaki.
   
   Think of it this way, now you have a place to hide all the condoms and bottles of lube you're going to be needing once your David Beckham look takes off.

3. 
   Tanks a lot.

   Clothing: casual. If you're going for a casual look, you're going to want to go with heavily distressed, baggy jeans--the more expensive, the better. As far as shirts go, look for feminine tank tops--the kids call 'em wife beaters--or skin tight T-shirts. You could go with a Polo shirt, but now that he lives in Los Angeles, Becks is rarely seen in anything but tank tops.

4. 
   Remember: The boob job is gonna cost you about $8,000.

   Marry a Spice Girl.

5. 
   Buttoned: It's business time, boys. Unbuttoned: Hey, ladies!

   Clothing: formal. When David takes Victoria out to dinner at Il Sole or Koi, he likes to dress up like a 1920s dandy. Tight-fitting pinstripe suits, pointy leather shoes and crisp white collared shirts with a Windsor-knotted tie (unless he's slumming it, then the shirt is unbuttoned to his sternum). You might not have $10,000 for a sweet Hugo Boss suit like Becks, but you can buy something off the rack for a couple hundred, and get it tailored by a dry cleaner for $50. Just think of it: With all that money, you'll save thousands for the accessories ...

6. 
   Check out my bling, girls.

   On to the accessories. David loves his diamonds. Diamond rings, diamond necklaces, diamond earrings--I bet this metrosexual even has diamond anklets. As for you, you can probably get away with just the earring. David likes to wear his diamond studs in both ears at a minimum of 5 carats each, so the bad news is you're going to have to buy one pair to pull this look off. The good news is that you can buy cubic zirconia. No one's going to know the difference and if you buy the real deal, you're going to feel like an idiot when the David Beckham craze is over and you're stuck paying off your credit card with a $10,000 balance.

7. 
   Bend it like Beckham, indeed.

   And no matter what, be comfortable with your sexuality.

Tips & Warnings

• If you fail in following any of these steps, you run the risk of getting your ass kicked.
• I'm not saying you're straight or gay, but the Beckham look is also going to attract a lot of dudes. Prepare for it. Or maybe that's what you're into and then you're fine.

[borrelli]

on 4/25/2009 Being comfortable with your sexuality has nothing to do with standing behind a guy while he is bending over, and the man bag? Thats Fucken fruity, The guy is a good looking cat, but the way men are going these days is looking more and more gay! It started with the eyebrow plucking, it started with the earrings, and now its the tight women pants, and this guy below me is talking about a skirt? wtf is the mater with you people? got damn it ok as a joke or a halloween costume! Then rockstars and there sissy makeup!! im gonna leave this shitty spot before i rant more

[Patagoniakidd]

on 6/5/2008 You forgot to mention how the chicks went completely nuts when heBeckham wore a skirt! Men in skirts is probably the next really big change in fashion for men. Actually a guy will look even more like a guy....Check these guys in minis. They are regular guys and look fine...
REF a few examples: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/searchbrowse?q=Paganello%2707&uname=Patagoniakid&psc=G&filter=1#1
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/227/467712580_59c3135042.jpg
http://image03.webshots.com/3/8/37/3/96183703iboUKs_ph.jpg
http://photobucket.com/image/skirt/Heycha_05/New%20Jersey/Nunu.jpg?o=18179
http://photobucket.com/image/skirt/trickytongue27/freinds%20and%20people/fabiinmuhschkurt.jpg?o=18071
http://image36.webshots.com/37/8/44/63/342684463eARure_fs.jpg