How to Talk Sexual History With a Girlfriend

Talking about sexual history with a girlfriend is more important today than ever before. With the possibility of contracting dangerous STDs ever-present, the need to fully understand each other's sexual past is crucial. Just as importantly, however, is the need to be honest and straightforward about both of your sexual pasts. Follow a few steps to broach the subject and keep the conversation calm and constructive.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Bring the subject up at the right time. With sexual history talks, timing is everything. A special occasion, for example, is not the best time to bring up sexual pasts. Surprisingly, most people find that sex history is not the best pillow talk either. Set aside a good time where you can devote yourself to the conversation without ruining a special date or intimate moment.
2. Be honest. If you want your girlfriend to be honest, the best way is for you to be honest and forthcoming about your own sexual history. Showing your girlfriend that you're open and relaxed about the conversation will set her at ease and increase the chances of a constructive conversation.
3. Leave jealousy at the door. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it is critical to having a good conversation about sexual history. Stick to the conversation at hand and don't let your mind (or imagination) wander to things (and images) that aren't directly relevant to the conversation.
4. Be careful what you aim for. Before you have a conversation about sexual history, you should know what the point of the conversation is. If you are concerned about STDs, stick to that topic. The same goes for issues of fidelity and promiscuity. Be sure to stick to the issues and don't start asking about things you didn't want to know in the first place.
5. Keep the conversation friendly. The worst possible thing you can do is adopt an accusatory tone or start asking loaded or insulting questions. Even if you feel like you've been slighted, it's important to keep the conversation on good terms. If you need to make a decision about the relationship at a later point, it's best to make that decision on the basis of clear information, something you won't get from a jealous fight.