How to Be a Teenage Father

Being a teenager is hard enough. You go to school eight hours a day. Your parents hound you to make something of yourself. You work, are involved in extra curricular activities, and are trying to get into the right college. Teenage life is difficult enough, but is compounded if your girlfriend says, "I'm pregnant." You will make it as a teenage father by taking these steps to heart.

Instructions

1. Accept that as a teenage father, you now have a responsibility to the mother. The mother is the one who has some hard decisions to make over the next several days and years. She must decide to give birth to a baby, to delay schooling for the baby, and to put her life on standby while she raises a baby. She will probably be sick and moody and sometimes feel like an outcast from friends and family. She will feel alone and scared and need you to lean on.

2. Know that you have a parenting responsibility to the child despite being a teenage father. Connecticut has a statute that creates legal duties for a father no matter what the father's age. Many other states have similar parenting laws. The laws impose duties on the father to support the child financially, emotionally and physically. The laws were not created to punish you as a teen father, but to give the child a chance.

3. Forgive yourself. Sometimes when something like this happens, people tend to blame themselves and be down on themselves for "destroying" their life and the lives of others involved. You may feel guilty about your actions or bad for how it will reflect on your parents. But a child is not a bad thing. You may or may not have made a mistake in becoming a teenage father, but the child is not a mistake.

4. Better yourself. A child can be expensive. Finish high school, go to a trade school or college, and get a better education. Many older people have kids and go to school. You can do it, too. It may be hard at first to juggle all the requirements of being a dad, but it is just as hard for a 30-year-old man to do the same. Do it now so you won't have to do it in 10 years when you realize it should have been done earlier.

5. Remain cordial with the mother. You don't have to marry the girl just because you got her pregnant, but you will need to be nice as you share parenting duties. A child not only needs a mom and dad, but they need a loving home. Take the high rode and be a man and treat the mother how you would want a man to treat your daughter. You will be there soon enough when your child is old enough to date and marry.

6. Spend time with the child. Love the child and don't ever let the child feel unwanted. You are going to shape your child's future. So many adults blame their parents' dysfunctions for their rotten life. Don't become dysfunctional. Love the child, care for the child, and do not ever let the child feel unwanted.

Tips & Warnings

• If you have a question about paternity, get a test done. The lack of a paternity test is no excuse to stay out of the child's life.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish