How to Cut Family Ties
We can't choose who will be in our family most of the time, but we can choose how our family treats us. Families should build one another up and encourage one another. Sometimes this isn't happening and the need arises to cut family ties. The following will help you in cutting those ties that are detrimental to the rest of the family.
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Instructions
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Think long and hard about your decision. This choice will change your life and the life of your offspring. Determine whether you just need a little breathing room or a complete cut of the family ties. Make your decision and stick to it until the harmful environment changes.
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Tell the family why you are cutting the ties and how to repair the broken ties. Do not run away from your problems. Tell the family what is going on and that you are leaving.
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Move away. A change of scenery may be necessary. Moving can be very hard since not only will you cut family ties, but also friendship and familiarity ties. You will be in a new place without the people who were once close, but this might be just what you need.
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Distract yourself. Cutting family ties is sometimes necessary when the family is abusing you. If this is happening, then you will want to go back. This is a normal feeling, but a dangerous one. Distract yourself with a new hobby, a new job, or a new church.
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Send a postcard to family members that were inadvertently cut. You don't have to let them know your address or phone number, but send them a postcard saying you are okay and doing well.
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Move on with your life. Do not keep thinking about the past and what you did wrong. Move on with a family of your own. Strive to be the best you can be leaving the self pity behind.
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Comments
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karmakin
May 29, 2009
Where is the rest of this? I definitely want to read it, as what you have so far is very helpful. -
ChristaKanga
Oct 14, 2008
I just want to say to whoever is out there ... if you have cut your family ties ... understand that the greiving process is an important consideration. I tried once and did not understand that I had to greive that loss and now 15 years later- still suffering with their nasty behavior and abuse...I am doing it again because I went back when the pain go too bad. What I realize now was that the pain is not my love for them. It was that I was not greiving the loss...I did not know how and I did not know I needed to do. The result was that all of the things I did to survive every time they hurt me just built up more losses until I hit bottom. That lifelong dream of finally doing that one thing that will make me acceptable and lovable drove me into the ground because it caused other losses and that meant more grief and more on top of that. Some people really don't love their chil
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ChristaKanga
Oct 14, 2008
I just want to say to whoever is out there ... if you have cut your family ties ... understand that the greiving process is an important consideration. I tried once and did not understand that I had to greive that loss and now 15 years later- still suffering with their nasty behavior and abuse...I am doing it again because I went back when the pain go too bad. What I realize now was that the pain is not my love for them. It was that I was not greiving the loss...I did not know how and I did not know I needed to do. The result was that all of the things I did to survive every time they hurt me just built up more losses until I hit bottom. That lifelong dream of finally doing that one thing that will make me acceptable and lovable drove me into the ground because it caused other losses and that meant more grief and more on top of that. Some people really don't love their chil
