How to Be a Homer Simpson Fan

The Simpsons have been a household favorite since 1989. While their fictional town of Springfield is home to many hilarious and memorable characters, few are as recognized as Homer Simpson. The beloved patriarch of the Simpson clan, he is best known for his love of beer and his career as a nuclear safety inspector. It is easy to be a Homer Simpson fan. Read on to learn how to be a Homer Simpson fan.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Spend most of your free time watching episodes of the Simpsons, starting at the very beginning. You should do this even if you have been a fan for years. Bask in the various facets of Homer's personality, and marvel at the evolution of his character from season one to the present day.

2. Educate yourself on the inner workings of Homer's mind by reading books such as "The Simpsons and Philosophy:The D'oh! of Homer." This will provide insight into Simpson family values and clarify Homer's outlook on life and the world around him.

3. Pay homage in real-life situations. For example: if you and your buddies are forming a bowling team, suggest The Pin Pals for a name. Name your next dog Santa's Little Helper or Max Power. Always mention his name when asked for personal heroes or inspirations.

4. Plan out a Homer tribute menu at your next party or gathering. Exclusively serve things like beer, doughnuts, Patented Space-Age Out of this World Moon Waffles and pork chops.

5. Have the ability to tie a Homer Simpson quote or anecdote into everyday life conversations. For example: "This is kind of like the time Homer Simpson ate the Guatemalan Insanity Peppers at the chile cook-off and then...".

6. Catalog your wealth of Homer Simpson knowledge so that, when faced with a challenging situation, you can ask yourself, "What would Homer do?".

Tips & Warnings

• If you are a regular at a neighborhood bar or pub, request that Homer's favorite song, "It's Raining Men", be added to the jukebox play list. This is a high-ranking tribute.
• Avoid aggressive self-modifications geared toward Homer emulation. Things like lodging a crayon in your brain, gaining excessive amounts of weight to attain disability and disguising oneself as the potato man to sneak backstage at a U2 concert are dangerous and ill-advised.

[Haoie]

on 7/20/2008 I wouldn't try jumping over a canyon on a skateboard, either.