How to Speak Up Against Child Abuse

You're out in the grocery store, mall or a restaurant when a whining child and the yelling of his parent grab your attention. You lift your head in time to see the parent hit the child. You can feel that burning sensation in your belly, and you want to speak up, but how do you do it? Here are some tips to follow when you witness child abuse in public.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Empathize with the parent. This sounds crazy and is definitely taking the high road, but in this situation, it's the first step to keeping the child from enduring another smack. Everyone has horrible days and you may handle unruly children with more finesse, but remembering your own experiences before acting on impulse is the best approach.
2. Create a diversion. Start a conversation with the parent in a way that shows your sympathy while directing his attention away from the child. You may begin by saying, "Wow, I remember when my children were that little. They were a handful in the stores, too." Or focus on something positive about his child and say, "She has the most beautiful hair. I wish mine curled like that."
3. Make an offer of assistance. If you can see that the parent is tense and trying to juggle too many things at once, ask if there is some way you can help her. Offer to carry a couple of bags, to put a cart away or even help with other children she may have in tow.
4. Strike up a conversation with the child. While not an excuse by any means for abuse, if it's obvious that the child is misbehaving, try talking to the child. Ask a question or point something out to him to make a break in his behavior.
5. Let the parent know she has options. There are ways of accomplishing errands or having a night out without kids, and you can subtly suggest these resources to the parent. Explain how you made use of a babysitting co-op where neighborhood parents took turns watching kids while parents got out of the house alone.
6. Step in if necessary. If you see a child unattended in a shopping cart, stay nearby until the parent returns. Similarly, if a child seems lost, alert management while staying with the child until the parent can be found.
7. Follow your instincts. If the situation seems completely out of control with the child in immediate danger, alert the store manager. If you witness a child being intentionally or repeatedly injured, call 911 to get help.

Tips & Warnings

• You may want to scream at the parent, but bite your tongue. Criticizing, dirty looks and negative comments can actually put the child in more danger by embarrassing or angering the parent more.