How to Piss People Off Like a Shock Jock
Shock jocks have been offending people since the 1970s by tossing political correctness out the window. If you've always idolized the likes of Danny Bonaduce, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern or Don Imus, here's your chance to walk a few feet in their shoes. Just throw a tantrum and go on an envelope-pushing tirade that could get you bounced out of any bar.
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Instructions
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Choose what type of shocking, offensive humor you'd like to toss out. Perhaps you'd like to target a women's basketball team or a specific religious group.
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Listen to your favorite shock jocks' shows everyday to get a feel for the right way to deliver of your insults. It takes finesse to really tick people off.
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Visit the same hairdresser who does Howard Stern or Don Imus' hair. You might even want to consider applying a big fake nose to rest your new shades on.
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4
Beat up a few transvestite hookers just to make a name for yourself. This works even better if you happen to be a former child star.
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Pick a prescription drug to which iyou'd like to become addicted, such as OxyContin or hydrocodone.
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Practice firing insults at the tollbooth lady, the cashier at the deli and random people on the street. Try this with people who can't track you down.
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Tips & Warnings
Anything from sex, race, religion, toilet humor or personal remarks is considered acceptable by shock jock standards.
Learn how to dodge punches, and get a good pair of running shoes.
If you want to keep your job, you'd better refrain from your shock jock ways while you're at work. Just ask Don Imus how things worked out for him.
