How to Waste Time at Work

Bored office workers do just about anything to waste time at work. Some workers are afraid of being fired for goofing off, but others know there are ways to waste time that make you appear even more conscientious and hard working. When done properly, wasting time at work is almost an art form.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Check your email at least 4 times an hour and reply to everything, even spam messages.
2. Drink water, coffee or colas all day. Take a restroom break at least three to four times a day.
3. Extend your bathroom breaks by taking a short nap while in the restroom stall. Male workers can employ this time wasting method too, if they stay away from the urinals. After all, what boss is going to ask what you were doing in there for so long?
4. Wash your hands thoroughly before leaving the restroom. Make sure each nail is free of ink stains or other gunk. Other workers will be impressed by your attention to detail.
5. Volunteer for every meeting, seminar and training session available. Meetings are a great time to practice your doodling skills and dark seminars with hours of video or power point presentations are the perfect spot to catch up on your sleep.
6. Take business related trips to beautiful locations and book the nicest hotel your expense account will allow. Skip all non-critical meetings and seminars during the trip and take your spouse or loved one along for a mini-vacation.
7. Become personal friends with your supervisor and waste entire afternoons just "hanging out with the boss." This time waster is usually short lived because other employees may complain to upper management about favoritism.
8. Plan all holiday and family parties at work. Make phone calls to rent tables, chairs and facilities. Check out caterers and entertainers and spend time on the Internet perusing stationary sites for the perfect invitations.
9. Make unnecessary phone calls to family members or friends. Always make these calls on your cell phone to avoid accusations of tying up company phone lines. This also makes it appear the person may have called you instead of the other way around.
10. Organize everything in your office or on your desk at least once a week. Color coordinate your sticky notes, sort paper clips by size and type, and print all company emails and file alphabetically by subject or sender's last name.