How to Negotiate with a Teen

With a teenager in your house, you’ll have lots of chances to sharpen your negotiation skills. Negotiation gives you an opportunity to settle disputes by turning a potential conflict into a win-win solution for everyone. Even if you don’t see eye-to-eye, with negotiation you will be able to talk about hot subjects without getting heated.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• A willingness to understand another perspective

1. Commit yourself to listening to your teen’s point of view. Pause before you respond so that you can consider what they are asking. Say to your teen, “Let’s talk about this hot subject with out getting heated.”
2. Stop yelling. If everyone is screaming, take 30 minutes or so to cool off. Say to your teen: “I want to give you my full attention, so let’s take a time out and meet back here in 30 minutes.”
3. Tell your teen: “I want to understand your point of view.”
4. Tell your teen: “I want to find a solution that works for both of us.”
5. Share your point of view calmly. Ask your teen, “Would you be willing to listen to my perspective?” Take deep breaths, speak slowly and stay unruffled.
6. Avoid lectures. Instead say: “In order for me to agree to what you want, this is what I need from you.”
7. Make your requests reasonable. Instead of saying, “You can’t do that,” it works best if you ask, “Would you be willing to do this?”