How to Give a Bitch Slap

The bitch slap can be an exceedingly well-used tool. Keep in mind you may have to bear some consequences and be ready to get bitch-slapped back, but sometimes a little bitch slap can really set someone straight. Here's how to give a great bitch slap.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Keep your cool while you are being confronted. For a bitch slap to be effective, you mustn't be the aggressor in the situation. If you are, you'll have people filing assault charges the moment you hit them. Keep your cool and begin to mentally plan your bitch slap.
2. Gauge your distance to the other person. Be sure that you can reach the person from the position you are in. If you are slightly out of reach, take a subtle step forward. However if you are 10 feet or more away from your potential victim, you may have to abort and wait for a better opportunity.
3. Pick the perfect moment. People usually ramp up to a stage of anger or rage; they don't just blow up all at once. So when you feel them beginning to ramp, get ready. Keep allowing them to get more and more heated by keeping your calm and acting as if their little tirade is not affecting you. This only makes the person you are about to hit that much more frustrated. Once they have reached their peak you are ready. Look for red-faced, stuttering, flustered anger coming in your direction.
4. Give the bitch slap. The old saying is "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes." This also applies to making the hit on the bitch slap. Once you see the whites of your enemy's eyes and teeth, it's time to give the bitch slap. Do not use a closed fist or the back of your hand. A bitch slap is given to the face with the palm of your hand. It should momentarily stun him. That may be enough to shake him from his anger and rage. Or he could come after you with fists blazing.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are super quick, you may be able to get two bitch slaps in. Hit one cheek and then use your other hand to hit the opposite cheek.
• Hitting someone is assault and a crime for which you may be arrested. This article is meant for fun and entertainment purposes only. Do not set out to hurt someone.