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Step 1
Get to know yourself. Most people are looking for a spouse whose personality complements their own, but this task will be harder if you don't know your own personality, strengths and weaknesses. Many online dating websites require you to fill out a detailed questionnaire to help pin down what makes you who you are. Ask some people who know you to describe your personality as they see it, including what kind of personalities you best get along with, what motivates you, what you find fun and what your priorities are.
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Step 2
Figure out what kind of person you're looking for in a spouse by making two lists. One should be a list of concise statements about the person: what he looks like, what kind of job he has, whether he wants kids, what his religion is or anything that may feel important to you. Another list should be of what kind of marriage you want with this person, and this list may end up being more like a story. Now, compare the two lists and see whether the person you want can give you the marriage you want. If not, you may have some compromises to make.
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Step 3
Find a good website. When evaluating dating websites, consider all the options, including whether you want a faith-based site or a more mainstream one, whether you want to pay to join, whether you want to post a picture, how many other members the site has and whether there are many members in your area. Some sites that charge a fee have free trial periods, some require full payment up front and some collect a membership fee every month. Be aware that members who are signed up for free sites or free trial periods may be less serious about marriage than you are.
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Step 4
Run a lot of searches for potential matches on the dating site you choose. Keep your parameters narrow at first, then expand them if you aren't satisfied with whom you find. Consider widening your search geographically; even if you're unwilling to move, your future spouse may not be. Keep an open mind with people who pique your interest but don't meet all your criteria.
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Step 5
Be honest with your fellow members when you communicate with them. Ultimately, it'll save you a lot of time to be up front about your beliefs, priorities, hopes, fears and past relationship experiences. By the same token, be on the look-out for people who don't seem to want to talk about themselves or who only want to talk about you, since this may indicate that they're hiding things.
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Step 6
Keep yourself grounded in reality at all times, no matter how wonderful someone from a dating website may seem. Remember, until you meet her, all you have to go off is her word. So when you do arrange to meet someone, do so in a public area.
Comments
luvneverends said
on 1/15/2008 Step there, I recommend meetwealthyboomer.com to boomer singles.