How to Not Look Like a Freshman

You've finally made it to the big league. You've got your own dorm, freedom to do whatever you want and you can pretty much come and go as you please. In order to stay on top without looking like a clueless freshman, follow these steps and you'll fit right in among the upperclassmen.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Ditch the lanyard. Nothing screams "freshman" like a new kid on campus spinning a lanyard around his finger like a lifeguard. Get a wallet with a keyring from your campus bookstore, attach your keys to it and toss it in your backpack.
2. Come to school prepared with a bathrobe if you're a girl. Those community showers require walking from your room, down the hall, into the bathroom, past the toilet stalls and into the shower area with a shower caddy in tow. Save yourself some slippery embarrassment and get a robe. Guys and girls should also bring shower shoes--no exceptions.
3. Meet your friends in the cafeteria instead of taking up half a block's worth of sidewalk so you can all walk there together.
4. Take your ID out of your jeans pocket before you wash them. Replacements usually aren't free and no one really cares that you had two presentations, four exams and a fraternity party the night before.
5. Walk in groups of 4 or less when going to parties. Freshman can be picked out from a mile away because they tend to travel in packs. Exude confidence and show up with one buddy.
6. Stay away from sorority parties until after recruitment week, ladies. You won't be allowed in.
7. Back away from the Varsity jacket. Under no circumstances (OK, maybe a theme party, but that's it) should you ever wear it on campus.
8. Ask people what year they are instead of what grade they are in.
9. Make new friends and keep the old, but don't talk about them nonstop. Your new friends don't want to constantly hear how awesome your friends from home are. Keep boyfriend/girlfriend talk to a minimum. Don't spend hours on the phone with them. It makes you appear less approachable.