How to Act Texan

Being Texan is about much more than your zip code; it's a state of mind. To truly be Texan you will have to say more than "y'all" or know where Austin is on a map. So, if you are new to the Lone Star state, or simply want others to think that you are, keep reading to find out what really makes a Texan tick.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Talk the talk. Texans can spot a foreigner a mile away. Talk really slowly and enunciate everything. If you want to know if someone is coming over for dinner, say, "Ya'll comin' over for supper?" Texans also like similes and metaphors, so use them often.

2. Know at least three George Strait songs, two popular ones and one obscure one. Texans don't care about any of the other country and western singers, just George Strait.

3. Drive a truck. To a Texan, status means driving a Ford F150. He could care less about your Lexus.

4. Obey the speed limit. Texans drive slowly on surface streets. Honking and swearing will get you beat up, so just crank up the George Strait and wait your turn.

5. Perfect the two-finger wave. When passing an oncoming truck on a dirt road, you are expected to give the two-finger wave, so it's imperative that you learn it early on. Keeping your hand on the steering wheel, raise your pointer and middle finger and nod your head to the passerby. A full wave will get you run over.

6. Eat meat. There are designated spots in Texas for the veggie burger-loving, soybean-eating sissies, so unless you live in Austin, you better order a steak with a side of steak.

7. Start wearing a jacket when the temperature drops to 70. This is called winter in Texas, so bundle up and wait for the first and only freeze of the year. Then take the day off, because that's what true Texans do.

Tips & Warnings

• It's essential know at least a handful of Spanish words. Learn how to say beer, cheese, bathroom and a few choice expletives.
• Gringo or Gringa is a term of endearment.
• Don't dress like a cowboy unless you live on a farm. Clean boots and a shiny hat scream Yankee, so don't go there.
• When dining at a restaurant, don't ask for a "pop." That's more likely to get you a punch in the face than a soda. Instead, ask for a "Coke"; when you're asked what flavor, say "Dr. Pepper."

[goosemuffin]

on 10/1/2009 I'm a Texoman and found this article entertaining, while Texas isn't a different language it is definitely a different way of life from most Northern States.

[hilduff]

on 4/30/2009 This is ridiculous. I'm from Houston, Texas, and we live a normal life like anyone else. I don't have an accent or own a truck, and who's George Strait??

[amberdusk]

on 4/25/2009 How cute...actually I'm from Texas, transplanted to Wyoming. I had to learn a whole new language here, and a whole new culture! There's no such thing as waving to strangers, and everbody always gives me COKE when I ask for a coke...geeeez. Thanks, now I'm homesick.