How to Deal With a Lazy Husband

Men's and women's roles in the household today are much different from those of the mothers and fathers that raised them. A U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics survey reports that working women spend twice as much time doing household chores and taking care of their children than do working men. Ladies, if you find your husband isn't doing his share around the house or is just plain lazy, here are ways to get help.

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Communication
• Assertiveness
• Willingness to ask
• Encouragement
• A cleaning company

Instructions

1. Understand that women and men are different. Men are more likely to follow their father's example if they are close to their dads. The fact is, you may have to teach him how to do certain chores around the house.

2. Communicate with your husband. Tell him what is bothering you and why with a calm, helpful spirit and not in a correcting, rebuking tone. Change may not be immediate but expect the best in him. Believe he will change and be patient while continually communicating your expectations.

3. Be grateful for what he does do. Thank him for working hard and for the things he does around the house so he knows he is appreciated. Kind words go a long way and he may be more likely to help you more in the future.

4. Ask for help if you need it. You can't make him help you, but you won't get help if you don't ask. Make the suggestion to start a chore list for the two of you.

5. Never say no if he asks to help you with something even if you don't particularly need help. Be grateful for his asking and find something for him to do instead of having an, "I can do it myself," attitude.

6. Encourage him as he helps you with the children and the housework, even if you think he's doing it wrong. Everyone has their own way of doing things and his just may be different than yours.

7. Hire a cleaning company once a week or every other week if you just can't get the help you need around the house. This will save you a lot of arguments, stress and time. You may find that if your husband doesn't wish to spend that money, he may decide to stop being lazy and help more around the house.

Tips & Warnings

• If you have chosen to be a stay-at-home mom or housewife and your husband is the breadwinner of the family, don't expect him to help you with the housework. In these instances, he is the provider and protector of the family and you take care of the house and children. Because he does his own duties, and not yours, this does not make him lazy. These are choices you have both made.

• Give your children chores to do around the house to lessen the load.

• If you go out of your way to tell your husband everything he did wrong after doing a household chore, don't expect him to jump up and do it eagerly next time.

• A husband who will not do any household chores or take care of the children and refuses to get a job on top of that is being abusive and you shouldn't put up with that kind of abuse.

• Don't expect too much-you'll wear yourself and your family out. Simplify your meals and don't expect your house to be completely spot- and dust-free.

Resources

• Great marital and parenting advice