How to Keep Friends

Keeping your old friends is as important as finding new ones. Unlike your relatives whom you keep due to inheritance, maintaining your friends requires effort. Even a strong friendship will not withstand prolonged neglect. Read on to learn how to keep friends.

Instructions

1. Make a conscious decision about which of your friends are transient and whom you want to keep for life. Transient friendships will move with their own momentum but ones that are lifelong will require work at times.

2. Bind yourself to your lifelong friends by means of a mental commitment. According to this commitment you must be willing to make the friendship overcome all obstacles that do not have a malicious intent. If you can't bring yourself to do this then the friendship is not strong. You are not obliged to continue a friendship if a severe violation has occurred originating from a malicious motivation.

3. Call your friends once a month, at the very minimum, to show concern. Buy them gifts on major holidays and anniversaries to exhibit appreciation. Finding time for your friends should never be a problem.

4. Display understanding, non-judgmental behavior and an interest that you desire what is best for your old friends. Celebrate their successes, and offer empathy and good counsel during their hardships. Fault finding is a major irritant and should be avoided.

5. Participate in fun activities with your friends. Going out to an occasional movie, date hunt or sports activity can give a friendship that suffers from too much intimacy, vitality and lightness.

6. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone to help a friend in need. When there is a conflict between your ego and your old friends, choose your friends.

Tips & Warnings

• Events not having a malicious intent that can end a transient friendship but not one that is lifelong include marriage, relocation, conflict due to felt attraction for the same third party, boredom, an occasional outburst of temper, temporary neglect due to a busy schedule and even shift of interests.

• Events that can destroy lifelong friendships include, severe dishonesty, betrayal and other types of behavior having malicious intent.

• There are controversial occurrences that may or may not compromise a true friendship, depending on their severity and the attitude of the friends involved. Some examples are, habitually lowering the other's self-esteem by put downs, making a sexual advance and one-sided borrowing or lending.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish