How to Know When a Child is Ready to Be Alone

If your child is between the ages of nine and 12, you may be wondering when you can safely leave him alone in your home. Perhaps your after-school arrangements have broken down, or your boss wants you to start coming to work earlier. These guidelines will help you tell if your child is ready to be on his own.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Determine whether your child is willing to be left alone. If she seems fearful, discuss some "What-if?" scenarios with her. For example, what if the power goes out? Find a flashlight. A simple discussion may help your child relax about staying home by herself.
2. See if your child knows where to find important phone numbers, how to dial and how to take down and relay important messages. Make sure he knows how to dial 911 or other emergency numbers and that he can recite your home address and telephone number.
3. Prepare your child for what to do if someone comes to the door. Have a frank discussion about who can be allowed in and who can't. Consider the crime rate in your neighborhood and whether you will feel comfortable with your child being alone in it.
4. Ensure that your child knows how to handle an emergency. Does she know what to do in case of a fire? Point out escape routes. Better yet, conduct a drill. Also, make sure she knows where to go in the house in case of a tornado, thunderstorm or other weather emergency.
5. Teach your child simple first aid. Keep an age-appropriate first aid kit in a place where he can reach it, and make sure he knows how to safely use everything in the kit. Would he know how to treat minor injuries and stay calm in the process?
6. Have your child lock and unlock the house doors and keep track of a house key. Communicate which doors you want locked while the child is at home alone. It's also a good idea to discuss a plan of action if he accidentally gets locked out, such as running to a trusted neighbor's house.
7. Ask yourself whether you can trust your child to follow the rules and use her time well during your absence.

Tips & Warnings

• Let your child stay alone for 15 to 30 minutes at first, then increase the time. Ask your child how he felt being alone, and discuss any situations that arose while you were gone.
• Check with your state to see if there are any laws or guidelines for deciding whether your child can be left alone.
• Make a short list of people you trust, and let them know your child will be alone. They can be on alert in case there's a problem.
• Even if your child meets all the criteria above, if you feel he is too impulsive or immature to handle safely being left alone, trust your instincts and make other arrangements.