How to Ask a Roommate to Move Out

There are few situations more uncomfortable than asking a roommate to move out. Perhaps a living agreement has been violated and you no longer feel comfortable in your own home. Even if there is no other way to solve the problem, it is difficult to ask somebody to move out. Once you have decided, however, be respectful and direct.

Instructions

1. Compile a list of reasons why you are asking your roommate to leave. Though you may feel the problems are evident, your roommate will probably not see it that way. If you have a roommate agreement, pointing out how it has been violated will give you legitimacy.

2. Decide the terms on which you are asking your roommate to move out. Set a deadline for move-out and decide if you are willing to take over their portion of the rent. Provide a reasonable amount of time for your roommate to find a new place and for you to find a new roommate, if that is your plan.

3. Set a time and place for the meeting, and give your roommate advance notice. This will prevent her from feeling cornered when you do talk.

4. Begin the discussion by stating the problems, and the ways in which your roommate has violated your agreement. Be respectful, direct and unemotional. This is not the time to rehash old grudges. Your goal is to no longer live with this person, not to win an argument.

5. Listen patiently to what your roommate has to say. If he reacts in anger, do not loose your cool and, by extension, your moral high ground. Stay calm and wait for the anger to boil down.

6. Point out that she might be happier living somewhere else. If you are relieving her of the responsibility to pay rent, it could be thought of as a get out of jail free card.

7. Apologize and thank your roommate for the discussion. You will, in all likelihood, be living with this person for another month, so try to end the conversation on a positive note. Even if the two of you have had disagreements, recognize that the problem has been resolved for the best.

Tips & Warnings

• Roommate dysfunction is a universal problem of campus living. If you are a college student, check with your school for help. Frequently, mediation services are available to students living off-campus as well as in residence halls.

• If you are asking a roommate to move out before their lease is up, know the law. Check with your local tenant union or state website and find out what rights you have when asking somebody to leave.

Resources

• A resource for roommate conflict resolution.