How to Slack Off for a Living

Slacking off has always had a negative connotation, but with more people feeling over-worked and over-stressed, the idea of letting others carry the burden is tempting. To get started, follow these steps so that you can begin to slack off effectively.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Move in with a friend or a relative. Unless you're in college or under 18, the first sign of being a slacker the absence of your name on a lease or home-owner's loan. Using the statement, "It's just until I get back on my feet" is crucial since it implies that your situation is temporary.

2. Quit your job. Since you no longer have to worry about paying rent or a mortgage, you may as well continue to make things easier for yourself. Remember, it's harder to convince people to pay your bills when you have a job.

3. Borrow money. Since your ability to slack off now depends on your lack of employment, borrowing money is imperative. However, never mention a repayment date unless the other person brings it up. If they do, keep your answers vague.

4. Put things off. This enables you to use your time for more important things, such as "accidentally" dropping in on a friend around dinner to score a free meal. Sporadic grooming habits also allow you to slack off because you spend less on soap and shampoo products, thereby saving your friends' money in the long run.

5. Distribute tasks accordingly. If procrastinating isn't possible, find someone to do it for you. Your chances are significantly higher if you can find someone from your pre-slacking days who owes you a favor. If it's a big favor, consider negotiating with the person to perform multiple tasks to settle their debt.

Tips & Warnings

• To encourage your friends to keep feeding you, avoid dropping in on the same friend more than twice per week.
• Incorporate the use of guilt trips.

Resources

• Tips on how to become a better slacker.

[debbiedeb1]

on 11/9/2008 I found this one funny;) Thanks for the laugh!