How to Make Friends With a Professor

Although somewhat intimidating, befriending a professor is a great idea if you rate their personality highly. The social rules are different because the professor and student roles define boundaries that don't exist in other relationships. Transgressing a boundary can cost the teacher their professionalism and you, your reputation. Otherwise, you have much to gain in befriending a professor because the flow of knowledge will almost always be from the professor to you.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Sit in the front rows so that your professor will become aware of your presence on a daily basis. You don't want the professor to think of you as a statistic or not think of you at all. As with any friendship, you must first be noticed.

2. Be attentive during class while the professor lectures. Fix your eyes at the professor's mouth giving the impression that the subject matter is of great interest to you. Yawning or sleeping may permanently destroy that impression and end any efforts of befriending the professor.

3. Consider your questions carefully before you ask them. By asking questions that are relevant and intelligent your professor will rate you highly as a student and later on as a friend.

4. Treat the professor with courtesy and enthusiasm whenever you run into him in the hall, the cafeteria or elsewhere. Talk to the professor after class. Be the last student in line in order to feel more relaxed and for the professor to remember you more easily. Ask him what his research interests are and if he's written any journals.

5. Schedule a meeting with the professor during her office hours when you have a concern about an aspect of the course. Be respectful of her time. Overextending your visit may drain the professor after a busy day and may earn you the reputation of being an annoying student.

6. Ask the professor to have coffee or lunch, now that you have established a more personal relationship. Keep the discussion within the boundaries of the course, his research interest and career issues. This is your chance to tell him about your interests, experience and goals. Remember, you want to build a friendship not a stalking relationship.

7. Send her an email every two weeks or so with a link to an article that relates to what you are currently studying or that reflects one of your professor's interests. Maintain this connection even after the course has ended. A friendship can continue electronically long after you have graduated.

Tips & Warnings

• You may gain two legitimate "unfair advantages" over other students when you befriend your professor. The professor may give you good insider information on your career and may provide letters of reference more generously. These should be the side effects of your friendship, not the motivating factors.
• Do not be an attention seeker. Often people tap into the pulse of the lowest common denominator in class and ask mediocre questions to which they know the answer just so they can attract attention by others.
• Do not argue or complain about a grade dispute. State your view clearly and calmly. Be prepared to accept the professor's position as correct.
• Do not ask intrusive questions like, "Are you married?" or "Is the money good in your field?" Let the professor decide if and when to tell you.
• In some universities and some countries, befriending a professor is considered uncool by the students and may go against university etiquette. Consult with the student government for more awareness on this issue.