How to Write a Dear John Letter

It's time to end that relationship, but you can't bring yourself to do it face-to-face. You may need to resort to a Dear John letter. Originating during World War II, when servicemen would receive letters from wives or girlfriends telling them of their involvement with other men, Dear John letters have become synonymous with breaking up. Some tips might be helpful, if you find yourself faced with this emotional task.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Choose your words carefully. Make sure you will not have any regrets later.

2. Confirm that the relationship is over. Write it under no uncertain terms.

3. State that you are not right for each other. This does not lay blame on either party and clearly emphasizes that the relationship is over.

4. Reassure him that he is a good person with many strong qualities, and you truly believe he will make another woman happy in the future. Express good wishes. Give him hope for success in other relationships.

5. Sign your first name only. Refrain from signing with words such as "Love," as this will be confusing. Then set the letter aside for a few days, and read it over again before sending it, making sure you have said everything you wanted to say in the best possible manner in which to say it.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not even suggest maintaining a friendship in your letter; this rarely happens, and what is needed is a clean break.
• If writing a Dear John letter does not allow you to come to terms with your anger or depression concerning the breakup, seek professional counseling.

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