How to Teach Discipline to Toddlers

Parents often interchange the words "discipline" and "punishment," when in reality, the concepts are very different. Discipline is teaching your child the boundaries within which he needs to live safely and respectfully, while punishment is an immediate negative reaction to inappropriate behavior. Discipline should begin early and the toddler years are the most formative yet difficult stage to implement it successfully. There are ways however to make your job easier.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. Lead by example. This age is not too early to begin open dialog with your toddler and explaining what's expected of him helps you to set limits. Model the behavior you wish your child to exhibit and clarify why certain behaviors are unacceptable.

2. Stand firm. The toddler years, sometimes called the "terrible twos," are notorious for temper tantrums that can start as early as 18 months. The key here is to never give in to a temper tantrum, as that will only reinforce in your child's mind that this is the way to get what she wants.

3. Avoid yelling and screaming. When you yell or scream to get your point across, you teach your toddler that communicating this way is acceptable and he will follow your example with others. Instead, try to keep your voice down unless you find your toddler in a dangerous situation.

4. Remain positive. Stay away from words such as; no, stop it, cut it out, don't and shut up. Instead of focusing on what your toddler shouldn't be doing, tell her what the acceptable behavior or response is for a particular situation. If you don't want to hear her repeating these phrases outside the home, then you need to refrain from using them also.

5. Say "please" and "thank you." Remind your toddler to ask politely for things he wants and to always show appreciation for kind gestures. This goes a long way toward teaching your child to respect others.

6. Offer choices. If you need to tell your toddler "no" to a request, then try to give her two alternatives from which to choose. While this method isn't always feasible, making the effort will give your toddler a sense of responsibility, empowerment and independence.

7. Distract your toddler from unwanted behavior. At this age, distraction is not always easy or warranted, but when it is possible, redirecting his behavior can avoid bad situations and teach him appropriate behavior in a more positive manner.

Tips & Warnings

• If you treat your toddler with love and respect, she will work so much harder at pleasing you and displaying good behavior.
• When teaching toddlers discipline, remember to use clear, simple and direct instructions in a friendly but firm voice.
• Remember that this is the age that children find it most difficult to share. They need to feel a sense of ownership before they can be expected to share with others.
• The toddler years are when potty training begins. Never punish your child for having an accident. Accidents are normal at this age. Remember to praise successes in the bathroom instead.

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