How to Fail a Class

Anyone can pass a class. But it takes concerted effort and sometimes repeated tries to fail a class. Depending on the subject, the instructor and the time of year, failing can be easy. Beware of those who taunt and offer bribes to make you study. With some help from your friends and an intense interest in anything beyond the designated subject matter, you too can fail a class.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Make up your mind that you will fail a class. It takes determination to get a failing grade. The more you believe in your cause, the easier it will be to stick to your commitment.
2. Focus on your diversions. Push all thoughts of the class out of your mind whenever they try to intrude.
3. Use the time you must be in the class to make friends. Students are often available for dating, and it can take some good quality time to check out the opposite sex. Watch closely for any signs that your interest is returned.
4. Catch up on sleep during class. Bring a laptop (everyone does these days) and spend the time usefully checking out the latest blogs to which you subscribe.
5. Stick with your plan. Allow only people, places and things in your life that support your efforts to fail. Assume you are succeeding to fail in every way. Practice negative affirmations daily.
6. Prepare a list of excuses and reasons why you have not completed any work and why you are failing. A good story can garner a little sympathy and add a perk to the failure.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not show up for class on time, if at all.
• Do not turn in any of the assignments
• Do not ask questions or bring academic attention to yourself.
• Do not sleep the night before exams.