How to Stop Being a Yes Man
Saying "yes" on every matter that pops up avoids having to justify saying "no." As you begin to break your habit of always replying to a request with an automatic "yes," you will find that the things you do agree to do take on a new importance because they become a reflection of who you really are.
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Instructions
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1
Qualify your response. Rather than saying "yes," take a moment to consider whether you would rather share the duty or do it a different way, or if you need something in return. You will be able to stand up for your own ideas while at the same time agreeing with the person making the request.
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2
Set your boundaries. Agreeing with something that could land you in jail or compromise your moral values is worth saying no to. If faced with a morally or legally problematic situation, tell the person making the request that you will get back to her. This gives you both time to think it over.
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3
Say no only when you mean it. Shouting the word "no" at home could cause serious concern in the family if you have always been a yes man. It could also be very uplifting and cause you to feel that you have broken imaginary chains that bound you. Be careful with that feeling of empowerment, however, and keep the feelings of your family in mind.
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Be prepared for shock. Telling your family--especially children or grandchildren--no for the first time could be a shock to their sensibilities. If you have been a yes man for most of their lives, they will react. Take it with a grain of salt; they'll get used to your new approach.
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Evaluate how you felt in your life when you were always saying yes, and evaluate how you feel now when you say no when you really mean it. Usually, your stress levels will go down. One of the biggest reasons people carry around resentments is because they said yes when they really wanted to say no.
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Tips & Warnings
Say no sparingly at first. The feeling of empowerment that you may get with saying no might cause you to say no to something you really wanted to say yes to. It will also give people time to get used to the new you.
Speaking the one syllable word no to a salesman can be one of the most rewarding feeling on Earth. If you have always been a sucker for a sales pitch, see how easy saying the word no over and over again will deflate the salesman with each utterance.
Be careful about saying no to the wrong people at work. Sometimes you need to say "yes" to keep your position at a company.
Be careful of who you say no to at work. If you must say no, use step number one.
