How to Fish Without a Pole

Handfishing, or noodling, is a method of catching catfish using only your hands. No poles, lines, hooks or nets are needed for this extreme sport. Noodlers stick their bare hands into dark underwater holes in a riverbank hoping a catfish will take a bite of them. Some say only an idiot would do such a thing, but longtime noodlers say the excitement of battling nature bare fisted just can't be beat.

Things You'll Need

• Jean shorts (with belt loops removed) or wet suit
• Watershoes (optional)
• Jersey glove to protect your fingers (optional)
• A buddy to pull you out if the fish tries to drown you.
• Cell phone your buddy can use to call for help if you get into trouble.
• One or two friends to help catch the fish and cheer you on.
• Tool to pry the fish's jaws loose when he won't let go of your arm.

Instructions

1. Wear clothing that won't catch on underwater branches or rocks. Some noodlers wear wetsuits, but the purist noodlers wear tight jeans shorts with no belt loops. It's dangerous to catch the fish and have a tree limb snag your clothes, keeping both you and your catfish under the surface.

2. Drive to the river early in the morning to beat all the other noodlers to the best hidey holes. Wade into the river barefoot or wearing water shoes.

3. Dive underwater or squat down until just your face is above water and stick your hand into holes under rocks, in the riverbank or even in the hollow of an old log. Feel around for the dwelling of an elusive catfish and pray you won't find a water moccasin instead.

4. Jerk your hand out of the hole really fast if it feels slimy. Catfish like a nice clean place to lay their eggs so they are good housekeepers, but other underwater creatures with sharp teeth and bad tempers are not so fastidious.

5. Get a friend to sit with his back against part of the entry to the hole if it's a big one. You don't want a 100 pound catfish to ram into your chest as it tries to escape the home you are invading.

6. Take another friend along to wave a big stick in the back entry of the hole to scare the catfish toward you, if he's a temperamental old thing and just doesn't want to move.

7. Wiggle your fingers like bait to trick the fish into biting you. This is the part non-noodlers find difficult to comprehend.

8. Ram your hand down the fish's throat or jam your hand inside its gills as soon as the fish latches onto you. Now it's a fight to see if you caught the fish, or the fish caught you.

9. Wrestle the fish into submission and haul him out of the water with the help of your cell phone friend, hole blocking buddy and stick waving accomplice.

Tips & Warnings

• Tennis shoes will weigh you down, but if you are fearless enough to try noodling, you probably aren't worried about stepping on something with your bare foot.

• Never go noodling alone. This is an extreme sport that could result in death by drowning or snake bite. The bite of a snapping turtle or beaver could result in the loss of a finger or toe.