How to Reignite Romantic Fireworks

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New romance explodes into our lives like fireworks: full of color and noise and all the "Oooos!" and "Ahhhs" of a Fourth of July show. But just as the sparkling sky pinwheels disappear as they sink toward the horizon, romance too--eventually and inevitably--fades. If your relationship resembles a flimsy, charred shell more than the red-hot rocket it once was, fear not. With the right book of romantic matches you can kindle a passionate blaze once again.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

How to Reignite Romantic Fireworks

Step1

Show your sweet side. When the romantic sparks begin to fade, it is common to build emotional walls. Instead of pulling back, playing it cool or acting nonchalant, try softening your heart and letting your partner know that you miss the closeness.

Step2

Put your ego aside. Now is not the time to place blame, keep score or rehash old disagreements.

Step3

Shift the focus away from romance. You cannot force attraction. Give your partner space. Allow your longing for each other to rebuild slowly. Remember: a watched pot will not boil.

Step4

Take action together. Go for a bike ride. Enroll in a cooking class. Pull weeds. Play cards. Doing an activity together—as opposed to watching television or going out to dinner—will get the energy between you flowing in a new direction.

Step5

Zip your lip. Verbal communication is not always the key to closeness. Which do you think is a more effective way to build romance: initiating a conversation about why you no longer have sex or initiating sex? I’d choose the latter.

Step6

Relax into the moment. Keep your mind out the past and away from the future. Enjoy the company that your partner is giving you.

Step7

Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Keeping love alive requires steady care and constant awareness.

Comments

loveistheway said

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on 10/7/2007 Step one, yes, create constant romantic opportunity, a get away, a trip, even in times of challenge, it's so important to show the one you love that you are still "there" with them. Step two, putting ego aside, so very important,..challenging for we humans, but there's so much to gain in self mastery by doing so., Step three & four, yes, closeness can be rekindled in other ways beyond being romantic, teaching your loved one a skill you are an expert at for example, showing them you care enough to devote helpful time to them, so very important. Step Five, yes, one who cares for another must take loving action, a kissing session, a massage perhaps, as a bridge to lovemaking. I agree with Jennifer, there are so many possible solutions, try them! Don't give up! Use your imagination! Remember that love is GIVING, as well as receiving. Step Six, great advice, live in the moment, each time.

JoeyC said

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on 7/19/2007 I really like step 5. That is great advice. If you need to talk about these issues, see a therapist. Then you can talk on and on about your sexual woes, while your time spent with your significant other can be spent in the whirls of passion...

Did I just say whirl?

Jenni923 said

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on 10/5/2007 The part in step five that says to focus on what you do want rather than what you don't want, yes, that's where it's at! There are so many possible solutions available to us... in all shapes, sizes and flavors :)

Hode said

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on 10/5/2007 Good article. I agree to give it time and start giving. Little things mean a lot! A simple candy bar means you got it because you were thinking of them! A compliment here and there...

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