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Step 1
If you are chosen to bring home an urn of ashes ("Cremated Remains") by a loved one, you must know that you can't just dump the ashes anywhere. The law labels ashes as "Human Remains". Not everything in that urn is ashes I might add. The largest part of the body will be turned to ash, but there will be large bone fragments, bridge work, casket material and "debris" in that urn too. Debris might be markers from surgeries a person endured during their lifetime. Most of the largest bone fragments are pulverized. Not pretty, but neither is a pubic bone. The rest isn't going to be identifiable, but you should be aware that it is there. Placing Aunt Susie in a box in the closet shelf may be a temporary solution, but every bump in the night will cause your thoughts to go straight to that box. Aunt Susie deserves better!
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Step 2
First you have the option of following the wishes of the deceased. If their wishes are legal! There are hundreds of requests each year sent to National Parks for disposal of remains. Some parks will allow this, but not very many and you MUST have a permit. Of course this permit will cost you! The law forbids you to dispose of "human remains" on public land and inland bodies of water. This happens anyway, but if you are caught you will go to prison, straight to prison, and stay there a very long time. People are funny about this subject.
If you decide to dump Aunt Susie in the backyard, when you sell the home you must disclose that "human remains" have been disposed of on this property. If you do not own the property you should try to get permission in writing!! -
Step 3
Options:
Many people are scattered at sea. This is a very nice ceremony with flowers and a few words spoken by a man of the cloth. Or you can chose to give the remains to them and they will do a combined scattering with several clients. This is cheaper, but you don't have the closure of a small ceremony and seeing the ashes actually going into the sea. If you should decide to sprinkle at sea on your own, you MUST be at least 3 miles from the coast and report the disposal to the EPA. They have a form on their website.
There are Biodegradable urns that you can use at sea and on land. The urn will naturally break-down and the ashes evenly distributed through the environment.
There is a new service that places ashes in large balloons and releases them. This service has had many problems and I do not recommend using them. Can you imagine your child finding a balloon full of "sand"!!!
Many cemeteries have a section where you can "scatter" a love one for a small fee. They have an segregated area of the cemetery where people can spread ashes. Then the cemetery keeps track of the records and you are free to go on with your life.
There are mausoleums that are designed just for keeping an urn of ashes. These are very expensive, but usually very nice too. If you care to visit your loved one, without having to dust the urn, this is for you.
There is also a service that sprinkles ashes from a plane. While having the advantage of being enviro friendly, you cannot witness your loved one being sprinkled.
There are also laws in a few states that say you have to have a "permanent" container to keep loved ones that are not being buried or sprinkled. Meaning you cannot keep them in the cardboard box that the crematory gave you after the service. Each state has different laws that are becoming more and more detailed about disposal of the body. Make sure you discuss your options with the professionals at the time of arrangements and you will avoid the box in the corner of the closet.
Whatever decision you make follow two important suggestions; no piles, scatter the ashes and make sure you know which direction the wind is blowing when scattering!
Comments
helpinggrandma2 said
on 7/14/2009 My Grandma wanted her ashes spread on A Indian resveration close to home in Virginia and we are trying to fill her request but we are having a hard time finding out and information on how or what to do If any on can help us with this we would really appericate it. Thank you so much
croweridge said
on 6/8/2009 on my farm in rural indiana i have an indian burial mound and i am thinking of opening it up for spreading of ashes. i would like to hear all comments jiaobutcher@yahoo.com
scatterme said
on 5/4/2009 To learn about scattering ashes try. www.cremationsolutions.com
favejewel said
on 1/26/2009 I found a great company called Love Ashes www.loveashes.com They do amazing work and very affordable, their work is very unique.
fourhops said
on 1/5/2009 I recently found a unque website that takes ashes and makes a memorial painting as well, but not of the person, but instead interprets a photo that has meaning to your family--home, place, scatter site etc. Beautiful painitng for your home and a memorial. check it out: lovedonesart.com