How to Deliver Bad News

Breaking bad news is difficult, painful and often awkward. This strategy helps make the task more effective and a bit easier. What matters most is not how you deliver the bad news, but how you listen and respond with compassion afterward.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Choose a comfortable setting where you both can sit. Create an air of privacy by closing the door, turning off the television and eliminating distractions.
2. Assess the other person's feelings. Does she appear worried, upset and suspicious? Does she anticipate this news or will it come as a total surprise?
3. Choose your words based on your relationship with the individual as well as your personal style. If the news is unexpected, say, "I'm afraid I have some news about . . . " or "I've just heard from the hospital."
4. Identify with the emotions that arise. For example, you might say, "It must be a terrible shock for you" or "I'm sure this is painful for you."
5. Listen to the other person; let him talk. Validate their emotions, but primarily listen and acknowledge.
6. State what you are prepared to do to help, rather than ask, "What can I do?" Make a reasonable plan. Be clear about your commitment and fulfill your promises.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid "I know just how you feel," even if you have experienced something quite similar.
• Do not share your experiences in an effort to be empathetic.