How to Relate to Adult Children

Relationships between you and your adult children are only as good as the effort you both put into them. At some point, it will seem as though you are doing all of the work, but staying the course and being patient will ultimately be worthwhile. It is not always easy to relate to adult children, but it is not always easy for adult children to relate to their parents!

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Communicate with your adult children. If there is a breakdown in the spoken word in a family, there will be a lack of closeness that will be very difficult to mend. You may not always like what your adult child has to say, but respect him enough to listen. You do not always need to "fix" things. You can simply be a sounding board.
2. Be honest with your critiques and constructive criticism with your adult child. To portray anything but honesty when asked for an opinion or for advice can be destructive to your relationship.
3. Recognize that your adult child is an individual with a right to his own opinions and general outlook on subjects. You may disagree with him, but you need to always respect his right to his beliefs.
4. Allow your adult child to do her own thing. In other words, let go. You may not acknowledge that the time is right for your child to think on her own two feet, but there are serious repercussions when an adult child is not allowed to grow up. Not being able to make wise decisions and the inability to live on one's own are just two of the consequences of hovering and smothering a child.
5. Determine a schedule that works well for seeing the adult child. Staying too hands-on and not allowing space is nearly as derisive as never calling each other or getting together. Try to reach a happy medium.

Tips & Warnings

• Relationships with adult children can be affected when either the parent or the child is going through a transitional period in their life such as marriage, divorce or illness. Have patience through these difficult times.
• Do not be surprised when your adult child behaves like he did as a teenager. Regardless of age, you are still the parent and he is still your child.