How to Be the Perfect Girlfriend

Are you tired of all the self-help books and articles telling you how to be a better girlfriend? Or the ones telling you merely how to be a good girlfriend. This is not one of those. If you're tired of just being "good" and want to be the "perfect" girlfriend, then keep reading. The following information is worth its weight in gold.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Look your best at all times. No explanation needed.

2. Stroke his ego. Tell him how amazing he is at playing video games. Coo about how skilled he is at taking out the trash. Brag to everyone who will listen that nobody can eat a pizza as fast as him. Give him a standing ovation when he leaves the toilet seat up.

3. Let him prowl. Men need to get out of the house and blow off steam. A good girlfriend lets him go out and party with his friends. The perfect girlfriend comes and picks him up when he's too drunk to call a cab.

4. Never run out of beer. A good girlfriend will buy him beer; the perfect girlfriend will have it on tap.

5. Give him the remote. Go above and beyond the call of duty by recording his favorite shows while he is away. Not sure what he likes? Record anything with guns, explosions, and nudity. That should cover all your bases.

6. Be wild in the bedroom. Your boyfriend thinks about sex 99.9 percent of the day, so just assume that he's ready to go at all times.

7. Laugh at his jokes. They may not be even remotely funny, but laugh anyway.

Tips & Warnings

• When all else fails, have sex with him. Everything else will be forgotten.
• Don't try to be Playboy-bunny hot, because then your boyfriend will start to feel insecure about his ability to keep a girl that good-looking happy.
• Once you get the wedding band, these rules become null and void.

Resources

• Are you the perfect girlfriend?

[felinabombina]

on 11/12/2009 This is dumb. What guy would bitch about having a playboy hot girlfriend????!

[drevy1512]

on 8/23/2009 OMG, seriously? If a girl acted like that, they wouldn't get "the perfect boyfriend" they would only get trailer trash!
This is a really stupid article and i would NEVER be that shallow!

[drevy1512]

on 8/23/2009 seriously? a girl this shallow will never get a great guy. They will just get trash instead! This article is really stupid. I would NEVER dream of being like that!

[averycoleman]

on 6/17/2009 Interesting ...

[jesslabell]

on 6/17/2009 Wow... This is pretty entertaining... Somebody slap me if I ever become that girlfriend!