How to Make Friends With a Son-in-Law

Welcoming a son-in-law into the family isn't always easy. He may come from a different culture and have what seem to be strange customs. You may not approve of his upbringing. But if you want to maintain a connection with your daughter, and eventually your grandchildren, it's vital to get to know and make friends with your son-in-law.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Reserve judgment about how your son-in-law does things, what he believes and what his future plans are. Look for his good qualities first and take the bad with a grain of salt. Remember no one's perfect.
2. Find out what his interests are. Praise his creative talent even if you don't care for his style. Get interested in the causes that mean a lot to him. Join him in some activities he likes, but make sure first he doesn't mind having you along.
3. Involve him in the family as much as possible. Ask him to go with you to get the Christmas tree or help grandma move. Explain who everyone is at family events so he doesn't feel left out. Show him family photos of everyone and tell him family stories.
4. Show your son-in-law you have appreciation for what he does for a living. Ask what his goals are and encourage him to succeed. When appropriate, ask business associates and friends if they can help him. Make supportive and complimentary comments about him to others as much as you can.
5. Be straightforward with your son-in-law if you feel he's doing something that could hurt your daughter and grandchildren. He may not realize a business venture or large purchase could put them in such danger. Present your reasons for disagreeing with his choice, showing him research studies, articles or telling him of first-hand accounts to prove your point.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't make friends with your son-in-law if he's mistreating your daughter. Instead, focus on helping her leave the abusive relationship.
• Avoid criticizing him, especially in front of your daughter and his children. Think twice about whether it's absolutely necessary for you to express your feelings. Do it only if you think his behavior may cause harm to your daughter, your grandchildren or himself.