How to Befriend a Shy Person

To someone who is shy, being greeted with a sea of unfamiliar faces in a social situation causes immediate stress, and sometimes anxiety. It can include the heart beating faster, hands becoming sweaty and an uncomfortable feeling where escape seems the best solution. Though every one has likely felt shy or unconfident in a certain situation, it can become an embarrassing and debilitating quality—preventing friendships and general communication with others. By befriending a shy person, you could be doing much more for that person than giving them a new friend; you could be giving them comfort, allowing them to open up to others and the world around them.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Make eye contact with the shy person, smile and directly say hello. Gauge the person's response. If they seem comfortable and responsive, continue with a general question, such as "How's your day going?" If they seem uncomfortable or are slow to respond, let them communicate at their own pace.
2. Ask questions about the person if they seem able and willing to answer. A good place to start is with questions that revolve around the situation that put you in the same place, be it work, school or being a volunteer.
3. Get a feeling for the person's comfort level, taking the "getting to know you" process slowly.
4. Use positive reinforcement when ending each conversation with the shy person, such as "It was great meeting you" or "It was so nice to talk to you today."
5. Invite the person to do something that requires a minimal level of social interaction, but allows you to bond. Going to lunch is a great example.
6. Never be loud, obnoxious or too personal with the shy individual you're befriending. That will only make he or she uncomfortable and likely to withdraw.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not do anything to make someone who is shy uncomfortable or embarrassed. Itstead of being their friend, you will be hurtful.