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Step 1
Understand what a monkey is. It is not a child, though it is a primate. It is not a domesticated animal. It is more needy than a dog or a cat, and sometimes even more needy than a human child. The better you can understand a monkey, the more successful you will be in your endeavor to cohabit with one.
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Step 2
Feed your pet a commercial monkey diet and supplement with table food, watching closely for what foods may give the monkey diarrhea or an upset tummy. Monkeys usually like fruit, berries, seeds, nuts and insects. They also need sun to synthesize vitamin D and citrus for the vitamin C.
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Step 3
Invest your time. A monkey requires constant companionship for its entire life. Even after it bites you, even after it bites your spouse or guest, you must be able to forgive aggressive behavior, never hold a grudge and move on.
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Step 4
Discuss with a veterinarian what tests the monkey needs and what to vaccinate for; this will depend on the type of monkey and where you live.
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Step 5
Try diapers. They may save you from a lot of mess at least while your monkey is young. As adults, monkeys will usually go wherever they want, but if you toilet train the monkey while it is a baby, it just might stick.
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Step 6
Monkey-proof your home. Lock medicines away; putting them up high won't work. Supply toys to distract the monkey.
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Step 7
Get more than one monkey. This may help them stay happy in captivity. A maladjusted monkey can develop horrifying behaviors.
