How to Talk to a Partner About Getting an HIV Test

HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. It is the virus that causes acquired immune deficiency syndrome or AIDS. HIV is present in bodily fluids such as semen or blood. It is transmitted when the bodily fluids of an infected person enter the bloodstream of an uninfected person through cuts, scrapes, minor skin tears and needle sticks. Because HIV is commonly transmitted through sexual intercourse, you must have an honest talk with your partner about getting an HIV test. Read on to learn how to talk to a partner about getting an HIV test.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Home Access Express HIV-1 Test System

1. Have the conversation about getting an HIV test before you have sex with a new partner.

2. Approach your partner when you are both calm and not in the heat of the moment, so to speak.

3. Explain that you want to protect both your partner and yourself from the devastation caused by HIV. Be honest about any risk factors you may have for the disease and ask your partner to be equally honest with you.

4. Learn the facts about AIDS and HIV testing and be ready to share them with your partner. An excellent resource is the Center for Disease Control Divisions of HIV/AIDS Prevention. See the Resources section below for a link.

5. Offer to get tested together if your partner is nervous about going to get tested by himself.

6. Suggest using a home test if your partner is concerned about anonymity. The only home testing system currently approved by the Food and Drug Administration is the Home Access Express HIV-1 Test System. See the Resources section below for a link.

7. Practice safe sex until you have both tested negative for HIV for at least six months after your most recent risky behavior. For male/male couples and male/female couples, safe sex means using a condom and spermicide during vaginal or anal intercourse and a condom during oral sex. Female/female couples may choose to use a square of latex called a dental dam during oral sex, although the rate of female to female HIV transmission is exceedingly low.

8. Talk to your partner frequently about sexual health and keep the lines of communication open. If you or your partner has unprotected sex with someone outside of the relationship, resume safe sex practices until you have both tested negative for HIV for a six month period.

9. Consider ending the relationship with a partner who commits multiple infidelities. Not only does this type of behavior destroy trust, it also puts you at a much higher risk for sexually transmitted diseases.

Tips & Warnings

• Most types of HIV tests do not test for the presence of the virus itself, but rather for the presence of antibodies the body produces in response to being infected by the virus.
• Although female to female transmission is possible, it occurs only rarely. Practices that increase the risk of HIV transmission in female to female couples include bondage or sadomasochistic play that breaks or abrades the skin and use of improperly cleaned sex toys.
• In rare cases, it can take up to six months for the body to start producing antibodies which can be detected by a test. Do not consider yourself or your partner free of the risk of HIV until at least six months have passed since your last risky encounter.
• People at the highest risk for HIV infection include IV drug users, men who have sex with men, sex workers and women who have vaginal or anal intercourse with multiple male partners.
• If you or your partner test positive for HIV, always practice safe sex.
• If your partner refuses to get tested for HIV, ask yourself whether you're with the right person. A person who is willing risk your health--not to mention his or her own--is probably not good relationship material.

Resources

• Home Access Express HIV-1 Test System
• Center for Disease Control Divisions of HIV/AIDS Prevention--HIV and AIDS: Are You at Risk?

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