How to Identify a Controlling Mate

Throughout our lives everyone is looking for one thing. Our soulmate. And once you think you have found that person it is a wonderful feeling, but what if true love isn't what you thought it would be? Sometimes it really isn't you, it may be your controlling partner.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• knowledge to handle a controlling person
• courage to stand up against this person

1. Over the years I have realized it is very important for you and your mate to be not only lovers, but EQUALS. If your mate doesn't consider you his equal this may be a sign. They may control you because they think you need to be guided or you do not know better. They are probably wrong.

2. If you are equals , you should be able to do the things they can for example if they go out every night with their friends you should be allowed to do the same. This is a red flag, if they put many limitations on you, but none on themselves.

3. Controlling behavior also goes hand in hand with extreme anger. This person may also be abusive to you whether physically or emotionally. Such as calling you names or being condescending. They want to brow beat you and lower your self esteem so that you are easier to control. If you believe you are unattractive you will stay with that person, because you feel no one else will have you. This is what a controlling partner wants, most of the time. Some people are just control freaks, but that is no excuse.

Tips & Warnings

• You have to remember it is better to be in no relationship than in a bad one. In the end you have to do what is best for yourself.
• Remember if a person truly loves you they will want you to do what makes you happy, and not control you!
• If you feel like this person may be violent toward you, do not be afraid to call the police or warn a close friend before hand about the situation so you will be safe.

[tsvr]

on 8/5/2008 Sorry this way nothing will work out some times you forgive sometimes your partner no point in giving names like controling there is no controlling like for example in some situations the other person wants a reaction from you at that very moment in anger mistakes are common so hold your cool later you can have your chance to make your point. this way the relation ship is not lost .... but when you drive people to the dead end terming them controlling et all they have no option but to come against you its like wearing a pair of coloured spects your view is biased imagine a red world in the left eye and a green one in the other and you keep looking at the person with one eye...lol so no laabels please live for the moment and let the other benifit of doubt an eye for an eye may blin the both of you....... sorry had to say this I feel strongly about it and the same applies to either sex but

[sanstar]

on 8/5/2008 This is the way to make this point that was eluding me...2If you are equals , you should be able to do the things they can for example if they go out every night with their friends you should be allowed to do the same. This is a red flag, if they put many limitations on you, but none on themselves.

That was a good comment, and it helped. Thanks.

[revisitingnixon]

on 7/6/2007 Congrats on having this article be picked as the winner for the "Top Written Requested How to Article!" Check out the forums and see which other winners we have this week. Check it out at:

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-Rich