How to Date a Supermodel

Before he gets married, every man should certainly date a supermodel. The problem is, how to do so. Follow the steps below to take home your very own Kate Moss, if not today, soon.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. The most important factor in dating a supermodel is meeting one. This is unlikely if you work in an office with middle-aged men, serve fries in a fast-food store or work at home on the internet. Get a job in an industry which will actually bring you in to contact with supermodels. Go for anything related to the entertainment or fashion industries. Even a job as tea boy for a record label might mean contact with Girls Aloud!
2. Once you’re got a job, start developing contacts. Every friend you make is another potential invite to a glitzy city party or celebrity event. Make friends with everyone, especially the people at the top.
3. You can’t work as tea boy forever. Once you’ve made friends, start jostling for promotion. You’ll need power to impress a supermodel. Attempt to befriend company bosses. Put yourself forward for personal assistant roles to the management. Get noticed.
4. You'll also need money to impress the best looking girls in the world. Start investing. Work three or four jobs per week. Save as much money as you can. Once you become a millionaire, you’ll be able to flaunt your wealth in clubs, bars and at parties where the models will come flocking!
5. Once you’re rich and powerful you can really start playing the dating game. In his book “The Game,” Neil Strauss suggests making girls you really like jealous by dropping subtle insults into conversations, or by ignoring them entirely. Blank your princess for her affection.
6. A further twist on the jealousy angle is to rent a beautiful escort for special events. Once models start seeing you dating a incredible “girlfriend,” they will become jealous and decide that you must be more attractive than they first thought.
7. It’s been some time now and you still haven’t got any action. Use your megabucks for plastic surgery to enhance your looks. If this works, you may end up with a modelling contract of your own and a supermodel on either arm.

Tips & Warnings

• If you aren’t able to get into the entertainment industry, try hanging around celebrity nightspots, hang-outs and gyms.
• Stalking supermodels is not a good idea.