How to Raise Responsible Teenagers

The thought of raising teenagers often comes with fear and trembling accompanied by visions of raging hormones and slamming doors. In a world that often teaches us to "watch out for number one," it can be a challenge to raise responsible teens. Here are some steps to follow that will help parents provide opportunities for their teens to develop responsible behaviors.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Exhibit responsible behaviors as a parent. If you are conscious about how your actions affect others, then your teenager will be more likely to act the same way.
2. Provide opportunities at home for your teen to see the benefit of being responsible. For example, completing household chores and speaking with kindness will grant them the benefit of earning an allowance and being trusted with extra phone privileges.
3. Allow your teenager to receive the natural consequences for their behavior. If they can't keep up with their cell phone, or follow your rules regarding the phone, then they don't get to keep their phone. Avoid bailing them out by providing a new phone for them.
4. Take them places where they can see others in need or less fortunate. As a family, volunteer at a hospital, food pantry or homeless shelter. This will broaden their world view and help them see that life is not just about them.
5. Believe in who they can be, not how they choose to act. If they know that you are confident in their ability to succeed, they will be more likely to act in responsible ways. If you belittle or shame them when they fail, then they will most likely continue to fail.
6. Praise responsible behaviors and offer rewards sparingly. Help them see that the good feeling they get from being responsible is the most treasured reward.

Tips & Warnings

• All people, including teenagers, are responsible for their own actions. Your goal as a parent is to act responsibly yourself to provide a positive example that your teen can follow. You cannot force your teen to act responsibly.
• Provide responsible role models for your teen to be around. Other adults can have a strong influence on your teenager.
• Do not be discouraged if you are a single parent or non-traditional family. You are the most influential person in your teenager's life, and your positive example will provide the best opportunity for your teen to be responsible. Seek help and advice from other parents and child development specialists. You are not alone on this parenting journey.
• Many parents fall into the trap of trying to befriend their teen instead of being a parent that sets rules and provides boundaries. While your teen may rebel at the boundaries you set, it is important to stay firm and be a responsible parent. Giving in to their desires will not help them become responsible citizens.