How to Know if a Number is Divisible by Zero

Math holds many of the great mysteries in the universe. Countless people have spent their lives trying to discover these tremendously fascinating truths. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? How many clowns can fit into a VW? How many teeth did the person have who invented the toothbrush? How to know if you can divide by zero?

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Set a timer for 5 minutes and count as quickly as you can until the timer signals the 5 minutes have expired. Take this number, no matter how high or low it is, and use long division to divide by zero. To do long division draw the Nike swoosh type thingy, put zero on the outside and the number that you counted to on the inside. Do your own work and write down your answer.
2. Pick a number between 1 and 20 and use the Nike swoosh long division thingy and divide that number by zero. Again, do not cheat yourself, do your own work and write down your answer.
3. Use your mouse to click on "Start" on your taskbar, select "Programs," then "Accessories" and finally "Calculator." Type in the number you used in Step 1 after counting for 5 minutes, select the division symbol and type in the number zero. If you have an Apple computer, do whatever it is people with Apple computers do to get to their calculator, unless Apples are too cool to have calculators.
4. Select the key with the "Equal" sign on the calculator with your mouse.
5. Read the answer closely...
6. Realize that for the rest of your life your sole purpose will be to hunt down the person that wrote this, especially if you actually counted for 5 minutes in Step 1, and taunted you with the possibility that you can divide by zero. We knew all along that you cannot divide any number by zero! It just is not possible!

Tips & Warnings

• If you are really planning on coming after us, you better be pretty resourceful. We move around a lot and know how to use innocent people as human shields.