How to Hypnotize a Chicken

Anyone can train a dog to fetch a stick, but it takes a special kind of person to hypnotize a chicken. You must be strong of will and pure of heart. You must have nerves of steel and be able to take on any challenge that comes before you, no matter how dire the consequences. You must own a finger and have the ability to be quiet for up to a minute and a half.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Finger
• Chicken
• Witness

Oscillating Finger Method

1. Place the bird on its side, with its wing tucked underneath its body and its head lying flat on a table. The chicken will pitch a fit, but stand firm.
2. Stop giggling.
3. Using your free hand, bring your finger close to the bird's beak without actually touching it. Then swing your finger back and forth, staying parallel to the bird's beak. Getting about 3 or 4 inches from the tip of the bird's beak is ideal.
4. Repeat step 3 until the chicken renders itself into a hypnotic state, or until your witness busts out laughing and breaks your concentration.

Sternum Stroke Method

5. Gently place the chicken on its back.
6. Realize that it is virtually impossible to gently lay a chicken on its back, and call your witness over to help you out.
7. Argue about it for a few minutes, and after you lose a game of rock, paper and scissors, try to put the bird on its back again.
8. Lightly massage the bird's breast bone while keeping the bird as still as possible.
9. Continue to massage the chicken until you get the desired effect.

Tips & Warnings

• No one is ever going to believe that you really hypnotized a chicken. No matter what your friends say, they will talk about you when you leave the room.