How to Escape a Circular Argument

Fighting over the same thing, going round in circles, is pointless. It's a never-ending argument that nobody wins. Escaping the argument is the best option, and with a few brilliant tactics, it can be done easily--a piece of cake.

Instructions

Diversion

1. Look out the window and say, "Did you see that naked guy?"

2. Pretend that you hear the phone, then go to answer it.

3. Ask, "Did you get a haircut?"

4. Sniff the air and say, "I smell smoke."

5. Point to his shoes and ask why his feet have grown.

6. Ask, "Who does your eyebrows?"

7. Point to her shirt and ask, "Did you make that?"

8. Sway a little and ask, "Did you feel that?"

9. Point to the floor and shriek, "A mouse!"

10. Faint.

Humor

1. Ask your opponent, "Just why did the chicken cross the road?" in the middle of a rant.

2. Answer your opponent's question with, "Who's on first?"

3. Grab your chest and say, "I'm coming, Elizabeth!"

4. Make up a bizarre answer to a question, the crazier the better.

5. Pretend to be in a prize fight that you just won; jump around like Rocky.

6. Make circles in the air as though roping him in.

7. Begin humming the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

8. Start laughing uncontrollably.

9. Faint.

Shock

1. Look concerned and ask, "Are you all right?"

2. Interrupt at an inappropriate moment and say, "I want you."

3. Tell your opponent the police were looking for him.

4. Ask her for a loan.

5. Tell him you'll share your lottery winnings if he's nice.

6. Shout, "Hallelujah! I'm coming Lord!"

7. Pretend you are suddenly deaf.

8. Mimic Clint Eastwood with, "Go ahead, make my day."

9. Ask your opponent if he's lost weight.

10. Tell her you are going on the "Jerry Springer" show.

11. Agree with him.

12. Faint.

Tips & Warnings

• Practice sounding like Fred Sanford.

• Try to look serious when pretending.

• Practice sounding like Clint Eastwood.

• Continue the bizarre story every time the argument starts.