How to Buy Status Symbols

The right status symbols can set you apart from the "everyday" people. One glance at a Coach bag or Lexus LS immediately tells the world that you appreciate quality and can afford it. While some status symbols pass the test of time, others are "out" before you have a chance to drive to the mall and buy it. Buying the "right" status symbol is a challenge. You want a symbol that will proclaim your status to the world without being "so yesterday."

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Buy the appropriate status symbol for the crowd you are trying to impress. A Lexus does not work if the crowd wants monster trucks. Leave the Lexus at home, and buy a pimped monster truck for the evening.
2. Carry the Coach bag with the signature fabric, even though the leather bag is more expensive. The signature fabric takes the guesswork out of knowing exactly what brand of bag you are using.
3. Anguish publicly before buying a new house. Check with all of your friends to see if you have chosen the best house in the best neighborhood. Remember, silence speaks volumes.
4. Ask your teens what the other parents have that you do not. Immediately rectify the situation; you do not want your children to be deprived of proclaiming their social status.
5. Applaud when your spouse brings home the latest tech toys. The only place that matters is first!
6. Purchase designer clothing to wear to the club. Look for the designer with the largest label, preferably one that appears on the exterior of the outfit. We all know everyone actually checks for the designer label, so make it easy for everyone to see. Show off your status symbol!
7. Buy only the best, but only if it is well-known. Explaining why your golf clubs are better is not fun; you want people to just know they are the best. Keep that in mind when shopping.